obviously a word nerd has a favorite

WARNING: This essay contains langauge that may be offensive to some readers. Reader discretion is advised. 

📣FUCK. I figured we might as well get that out of the way first. Negative Nancy, you can go ahead and take your dramatic exit stage right. 👋 

Now then. 

My single favorite word in the history of the English language is the word FUCK. 

Fucking A...isn't it beautiful?  Before you say no, you should hear me out.  I have bonafide English teacher reasons for my love of this word.  Lesbehonest, I also just like the word.  I love a well-timed sentence enhancer, and truth be told, I just love the swears.  Sorry, mom. Calm down, reader.  I do have some respect, and I don't use this one* in front of her.  She does, however, know my reasons for loving it and she thinks I'm hilarious, as per usual. *I swear in front of her all the time.  It's who I am and I'm still her favorite person on the planet and I'll fight anyone who says otherwise. 😘😎

Not only is fuck perfect for almost any situation, it helps convey stronger emotion than any other word I know. Sometimes, I just can't find any other words that are strong enough. 🤷As a "strong emotion" gal in general, I love it for its shazam power, but I also love it because it satisfies the word nerd inside me. It's genuinely the most well-rounded word I've ever met. Many languages other than English have a translation for the word fuck, or its own word that's used very similarly to the English word fuck. It's internationally recognized, beloved, and renowned. Boom. 🌍🌎🌏

You still with me? Fan-fucking-tastic. I was hoping I didn't fuck this up yet. Buckle up, buttercup. Here we go. 🍿

Fuck is the only word I've ever heard (side note for context: I know a LOT of words) that can be turned into multiple parts of speech and that fucker still works beautifully. I present to you, "Fuck: The Curse Chameleon," by Sara Clayton. 

• NOUN: That fucker better not show his face around here ever again.  The fucker is a person.  A noun is a person, place, or thing.  Also, that fucker should watch his back. 👀
• VERB: We fucked like bunnies when we started dating.  Fucked refers to sex. GASP, right? 🙊 Sex is a physical act. A verb is an action or state of being. Those bunny days though, amirite? 🐰
• ADJECTIVE: That fucking food was the bomb! Fucking is modifying food, meaning what kind of food it is. Obviously, it was the best food ever. An adjective modifies a noun.  I do love to eat, especially some bomb ass food! 😋💣
• INTERJECTION: Fuck, that was hard. (Side note: That's what she said. ✊🏆) Fuck has no real job in the sentence, making it a true sentence enhancer.  An interjection is a word or phrase that has no real part in the sentence - it's only inserted to show strong emotion and can be taken out without changing the meaning or structure of a sentence. 

This is all I have so far.  I haven't yet been able to connect my beloved F word to a life as a pronoun, adverb, conjunction, or preposition.  I'll never give up though.  I'll keep fighting to make "fuckingly" a thing. Or perhaps "fuckoffly". As in the following example of an ADVERB: I'm not really feeling the vibe with you, dude. Kindly leave fuckoffly. In this example, fuckoffly would be modifying leave, telling the sketchy dude hitting on you at the club when he can leave. An adverb modifes a verb, telling how, where, when, why, under what conditions, or to what degree. It gives off the right vibe for the sketchies, no? Totally throwing "no thanks" vibes, right? I'm going to do my best to make "fuckoffly" happen.  I just hope I'm more successful than Gretchen Weiners. RIP fetch. 🪦

Ah what the fuck, if any of you fuckers have any suggestions on how we can fuck up that dream and crush that goal, feel free.  It really does take a fucking village, you guys. See what I did there? Also, I mean it. Give a shout. srcltn@gmail.com 🌈Can you identify the part of speech for the ways I used fuck in this essay????? 💋